The boy is back in town

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

Yeah, look, I know I haven't been around much lately, but I can explain. No, really, I can. It's a really good explanation, too. The kind of explanation that makes... people... believe me. No, really, it's true.

What's that? Oh, you want to HEAR (rather, read) the explanation. Ho, ho, ho, art thou surest that thou canst bearest the magnitude of explanatoriation that shalt proceed from mine own keyboard onto thine monitor? Ok, if you say so...

Well... it starts with this... unicorn. Yep, there was a unicorn. Not a big unicorn, per se... well, when judging relative sizes of unicorns, it is important to take into account that, on a whole, they are larger than horses, yet smaller than, say, an elephant. This unicorn was about average size, that is, about the size of an SUV. But it's horn was pretty long. Yeah, like a full two feet. Normally, horns are only half that size.

Well, anyways, there was this unicorn. Hey, don't leave! And what's that laughing all about? Don't believe me yet, eh? Well, just sit right there until you DO believe!

So, there we were, me and this unicorn. And he says, at least as nearly as I can recall... "Neiiiiiiiigh." You see, unicorns sound remarkably like horses. Except that there's a bit of a twinkling noise in their voices. This is, of course, due to the magical nature of said unicorn.

So, he neighed and twinkled a little, and this particular twinkling told me one thing: this was not a happy unicorn. He wasn't particularly angry, mind you, he just wasn't ecstatic or anything. I think he was rather apathetic, actually.

Anyways, this moderately tempered unicorn who was of average size though he did have a (dare I say freakishly) long horn was staring me down. Not in that aggressive stare down tactic that human males are so wont to use when confronted by a possible new alpha male or anything; more of a general stare down that one would use when confronted with something new and slightly strange to sight. You see, this unicorn was unaccustomed to viewing humans, as are all unicorns. To them, we are merely myths. In fact, some of them believe that a unicorn actually built the ark right before the great flood and didn't let man onboard. Silly unicorns.

Anyways, there we were, me and this unicorn, just kind of staring at one another (though I myself am too polite to actually stare; I maintained a healthy eye contact, looking away at regular intervals so as not to seem rude). And he's neighing and stamping (only once or twice though) and looking all around surprised to see me. So I saunter up to him and ask, "Buddy, you have the time?"

He gave me a sideways look, slightly confused, and replied, "Why, I believe it is two o'clock."

I nodded, said thank you, and walked away.

Now, since I've already lost half of my readership for the night, I think I'll leave this entry at the explanatorianation and fill in an actual update either tomorrow or later tonight. Have a glorious time until then. On an unrelated note, I would like to mention that I used the word "wont" in tonight's post, and I used it correctly according to m-w.com. Props to me. And, yes, I did just give myself props. Cause that's how I roll.